People who are concerned about being special and unique usually do not enjoy someone doing things with them that they have already done with other people. Well, I am not talking about getting a laser surgery from a renowned physician, I am talking about intimate things you do with your lover.

I celebrated my ex’s birthday here…

She used to do the same when we made love…

He takes me here when he wants to cheer me up…

That time when we were in Tibet, or Malaysia, or Sierra Leone, or Ireland…

Many people find it distasteful when their partner talks about some experience they shared with someone s/he has been intimate with. It is usually our neurotic need to be special or unique, not having faith in our almost ontologically guaranteed uniqueness. Or it can be jealousy, that almost universal infantile feeling mistaken by many as an evidence of love. Well, love is supposedly incompatible with jealousy, if you trust the good book.

Well, what your partner has experienced with someone else makes what and who s/he is today. If you would rather not recognize those parts of your partner’s life, you are choosing to erase important aspects of her/his being, which compromises the fullness of the love you share.

You can never step in the same river twice. Heraclitus had it right, though I am quite sure he wasn’t thinking of what I am thinking now. Logically, he could not. You can’t even think the exact same thought twice, in exactly the same way, under exactly the same circumstances.

Why can’t you take the challenge of going beyond the previous experience, and take your love life to a new horizon?

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